The Pina Colada Song - My thoughts

What a crock of shit! So first of all, pina coladas are tasty but they're basically girlie-drinks, so I guess I shouldn't expect much from this asshole.

But come on, I'm supposed to believe this clown answers a newspaper ad which turns out to be written by his "old lady" (his words, not mine) and they're both like "oh snap! It was you? NO WAY! I didn't know you liked pina coladas or gettin' freaky-deaky at midnight."
If my old-lady was puttin out ads talkin' bout her desire to get fucked up on pina coladas and bone down with some strange dude in some foreign land, I'd be all like "don't let the door hit you on your way out skank! Only reason I responded to that ad was to get a little action without having to listen to your goddamn "work stories" for 6 hours beforehand. Bitch, you drive me nuts! Kiss my pina colada-drinkin' ass and go put out another newspaper ad. With any luck, you'll find some ex-con out there with gonnorhea who also likes coconut flavored beverages you skanky-ass newspaper-ad-puttin-out skank."

And then I'd just walk away, and that'd be it, certainly wouldn't laugh it off and be like "oh, what a coinky-dink. Let's get a pina colada and live happily ever after." Fuck that shit man, I'd be out the door looking for a bottle of jack and a strip club.

In short, Kiss my ass Rupert, you gutless one-hit makin' ass-tard! You're a disgrace to the male half of the species.

Serioulsy though, other than that, I kinda like that song, good tune, nice hook. Like the yoga/health food references, very topical.

Celeb reality

This whole new trend of celebrity reality shows has got to stop. Now Britney Spears and Kevin Spears apparently have inked a deal with UPN for some reality series + the balding dude from 98 degrees wants to do a reality show about his (I'm gonna go ahead and predict.....ill-fated) Cincinatti mayoral campaign. STOP THE MADNESS PEOPLE!

Now I'm as big a fan of reality tv (and tv in general) as you can get, but this out-of-control celebrity idolatry trend has got to stop. Paris Hilton need not cross our sacred tv viewing paths ever again. Carmen Electra and Dave need not ever give us a "peak into their crrrrazzy lives" ever again.

Just stop it tv producers please, I'm beggin' you. MTV has some show about a celebrity publicist. Gimme a freakin' break. This chick organizes parties for millionares. Lets go ahead and keep her "behind the scenes" ok? We don't need to know about her struggles at getting that perfectly shaped P-Diddy ice sculpture delivered on time for Diddy's latest bash in the Hamptons. And she don't need no stinking tv show man!

I'm suggesting a new trend in television. Brace yourselves, take a seat, maybe grab a drink if you've got one handy.................Puppets! Why not? If reality tv is popular because its so cost effective for tv networks cause they don't have to pay actors or write scripts why not puppets? Think about it.

In case you were wondering what I was talking about

See my Mar 30th memo.

Just say no to dumb f-ing hats
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