The Pina Colada Song - My thoughts

What a crock of shit! So first of all, pina coladas are tasty but they're basically girlie-drinks, so I guess I shouldn't expect much from this asshole.

But come on, I'm supposed to believe this clown answers a newspaper ad which turns out to be written by his "old lady" (his words, not mine) and they're both like "oh snap! It was you? NO WAY! I didn't know you liked pina coladas or gettin' freaky-deaky at midnight."
If my old-lady was puttin out ads talkin' bout her desire to get fucked up on pina coladas and bone down with some strange dude in some foreign land, I'd be all like "don't let the door hit you on your way out skank! Only reason I responded to that ad was to get a little action without having to listen to your goddamn "work stories" for 6 hours beforehand. Bitch, you drive me nuts! Kiss my pina colada-drinkin' ass and go put out another newspaper ad. With any luck, you'll find some ex-con out there with gonnorhea who also likes coconut flavored beverages you skanky-ass newspaper-ad-puttin-out skank."

And then I'd just walk away, and that'd be it, certainly wouldn't laugh it off and be like "oh, what a coinky-dink. Let's get a pina colada and live happily ever after." Fuck that shit man, I'd be out the door looking for a bottle of jack and a strip club.

In short, Kiss my ass Rupert, you gutless one-hit makin' ass-tard! You're a disgrace to the male half of the species.

Serioulsy though, other than that, I kinda like that song, good tune, nice hook. Like the yoga/health food references, very topical.