Shit that annoys me

Something on my chest and I just gotta get it off. What's annoying me today you ask? Read on.

I absolutely cannot stand the "free skate" portion of ice-skating competitions where the skaters "let down their hair" and do really lame routines. For example, any "tribute to the 50's" or any other decade for that matter generally sucks. You get some skater dressed up in a bright colored t-shirt with the collar up skatin around to Chubby Checker or that song "Deadman's curve". Inevitably you get lame versions of the twist on skates or pantomiming of driving a big old cadillac or sipping a soda at the local soda fountain with your best girl. That shit annoys me. I'm not even an ice-skating fan, but I do watch it when the Olympics are going on or when I accidentally flip channels during Monday Night Football over to ESPN's cleverly counterprogrammed skating competition.

While I'm on the subject, you know who really bugs the shit out of me? Elvis Stojko. He was "skating's bad boy!" One thing I remember about this guy was that he was in to karate, and tried to incorporate that into his skating. Dude you're an ice-skater, accept it. You can do a couple flying kicks during your routines...but your still on ice-skates, and your still wearing a flowing maroon shirt with puffy sleeves. Give it up.

Ok thats enough for now....just thinking about Stojko has really pissed me off. I need to get out more!

Billy Ray Genius or Moron?

Actual Billy Ray may differ from the above-pictured item

I'm gonna go with the latter. I was just reading up on Mr. Ray (SEE PREVIOUS POST), and unfortunately he is not the singer/songwriter/all-around entertainer behind the country hit "Achy Breaky Heart." Rather, he is a prolific hollywood screenwriter. Billy is the man who penned Volcano, that movie about a dormant volcano underneath the city of Los Angeles, which erupts leaving the city to be defended by Tommy Lee Jones, an intrepid fire chief (or fireman, maybe fire inspector, I don't know somethin to do with fire). Needless to say this movie sucked ASS!

Mr. Ray also brought us Color of Night, the sexy, sultry thriller starring Bruce Willis as a house-sitting psychiatrist and Jane somebody or other as Bruce's pyscho love-interest. This movie is in high rotation on "late-night" cable movie outlets like Cinemax (aka skinamax or even porno-max as we called it in college). Anyway, its another seriously baaaaad movie.

So it is no wonder that Mr. Billy Ray helped to bring us Flightplan (just noticed some other dude is credited as a co-writer...can't believe it took 2 dumbasses to write this movie).

Flightplan

Ok I know I'm a little late with this one since this movie came out like 2 or 3 weeks ago, but why exactly would anyone want to see this? Jodie Foster's character somehow "loses" her daughter on a plane? Are you f-ing kidding me? Oh wait, but its a REALLY BIG plane! Now that changes everything. How is this movie supposed to be entertaining for 2 hours? According to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0408790/ this movie was written by a guy named Billy Ray. Could this be achy breaky Billy Ray Cyrus?? That might explain a few things.

Also, what's with Jodie Foster choosing movie roles where she's trapped in some confined space for the whole movie. I never saw "Panic Room", (a fact that I am quite proud of) but that looked like it sucked too.

Memo to Nell aka Jodie F. : STOP MAKING BAAAAD MOVIES! You haven't made a good movie since "Silence of the Lambs." Look, the lambs have stopped screamin' sister, RETIRE!

Watched UCLA - Cal tonight

Great game. It was a ground game shootout, something you don't see all that often.
Maurice Drew, Marshawn Lynch, and Forsett will all play on the next level. Sorry to see Cal get an L because I think they can beat USC later. Although so could UCLA for that matter. Drew basically took this game over and showed why he might be the best back in LA, no offense to Mr. Bush and White. I think overall Lynch is probably the best of the bunch. He's got power, speed and is amazing at reading his blocks. I'd like to see him stick around for awhile at Cal but I bet he'll jump to the NFL as soon as he's eligible.

Props to TBS for carrying the game. http://www.tbs.com/sports

Two for the money - Haven't seen it, but I'll review it anyway

Overview:
This looks like a piece of shit to me.

The Cast:
Al Pacino- Where have you gone Mr. Pacino? Where's Michael Corleone these days? He didn't yell "I know it was YOU Fredo. You broke my HEART over here!" He whispered it. Get back to that acting style baby. I miss that.

Matt Mac-con-ah-hay - One word, easy to spell.....Hack.

Renee Russo - Apparently her husband wrote the movie so I can't really blame her for being in it.

The Plot:
Pacino hires McConeghey for some high roller sports betting service. McConeghey gets all slicky-boy after tasting success. Then he realizes he liked his old life better and wants out. Pacino screams a lot. Renee Russo walks around looking pretty, but let's face it she looked a lot better 10 years ago, and there's probably no nude scene since her husband wrote the part. Yep that's about it folks. Like I said looks like a piece of shit.

10 Celebrities I've met/seen

1. Sebastian Bach from Skid Row
Gave him a handshake-hug and told him "I love your shit man!" He was cool. He rolled into a nightclub with a 24 pack of Heineken under one arm. That's class.

2. Jermaine O'Neal
Peed next to him at a urinal in a club in Vegas. I told him "hey man that stuff in Detroit was just self-defense." He smiled but didn't say anything (probably on advice from his attorney). Anyway I was impressed with him cause he kept getting stopped by people in the club and he kept a good attitude and shook everybody's hand and shit. Thats gotta get pretty annoying (in addition to assholes like me talking to you in the bathroom!)

3. Al from the Tim Allen Show "Home Improvement"
He seemed to have an eye for the ladies!

4. Tommy Lasorda
He bumped his stomach into me in line waiting to get searched at the airport. Tommy's a very heavy breather. I didn't come up with any snappy comments to say to him, mainly cause I was pretty annoyed at getting searched. Anyway he was ok with the search for the most part but started to get a little pissed as it went along. Eventually he said "everybody here knows I'm no terrorist." Sure Tommy, whatever.

5. Members of the Las vegas Real World cast
I was hitting on one of the chicks at a bar in the Palms and trying to get invited up to see their "house" (which I think took up a whole floor there or maybe half a floor). Anyway she wasn't having it. She told me to come back the next day and meet her at 5pm at the bar. Sure baby, I'll be there with bells on....errr not. By the way this is a stretch as far as celebrities go, I know. That's why I left the names out, I don't consider any of them individually to be actual celebs.

6. Larry David
Saw LD walking out of a buffet. He had a group of people following him so I didn't get a chance to yell out "jerkstore is the line!" Ahh too bad.

7. Jill Kelly
For the unitiated, she's a porn star. Let's see, I asked for a hug, told her I loved her work and thankfully my request was granted.

8. Mo Rocha
Saw him at LAX while I was on the phone with my mom. He walked by and I said (to my mom) "hmmm that dude looks a lot like Mo Rocha from the Daily Show. He looked over when I said Mo Rocha, and said "hey how you doin." That my friends, was a moment!

9. Don Cheadle
Saw him playing craps at 3am in the Bellagio in Vegas. Oddly enough he was by himself. No crowd of onlookers, no entourage, just Don and the dice.

10. Lance Bass from N'Sync
He offered me some of his Grey Goose. Good guy. My buddy Mark asked him if he could "take a snap." I think my buddy was trying to sound cool but neither I nor Lance apparently thought it was too cool. Lance said no. I don't really blame him, just say photo or picture next time Mark!